Milton&

Sep 17 2009 ∞

My standup at Ithaca College 9/17/09

Sep 02 2009 ∞

I just learned the guitar solos to Bohemian Rhapsody and Wonderboy. As you'd expect, I then played them for a straight hour in a vicious metal rage.

Aug 08 2009 ∞

I just thought people would be interested to know that Hanson is still around. Still. Not again, still.

Aug 01 2009 ∞

A lot of people drunk dial. I've been sober dialing drunk people.

I think this joke has a lot of potential.

Jul 19 2009 ∞

What is the target audience for Spongebob Squarepants?

Jul 06 2009 ∞

I want to write a story in which a person who vomits chronically and a person with a phobia of vomiting fall deeply in love. WHAT NOW??

+ ∞

Sometimes my girlfriend has night terrors, but it’s ok because I have insomnia, so she’ll never wake me up in the middle of the night.

Jul 03 2009 ∞

I just realized that the kids I'm working with this summer are high school graduating class of 2020.

Holy shit.

Jun 28 2009 ∞
(via funeralface) I like this.

(via funeralface)

I like this.

+ ∞

So many celebrity deaths! Time to decide who we care about the most. Only TV tributes will tell. What an exciting summer!

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